Ok, call me a conspiracy theorist if you want…some of you already do and others are probably thinking it; but I still Love you. 
But I say there is a little more than just “theory” going on here. As some of you already know, 11, 22, and 33 are very important numbers in Numerology. They are often used in various ways in occult rituals and esoteric proceedings. The Principles of Numerology refute the idea that any coincidences or randomness exists in our Universe. True or not, there comes a point where the evidence showing something a little deeper must be taken into more serious account. One event that had ritual symbolism written all over it, and one we all will never forget, was 9/11 (9+1+1=11), when the twin towers were allegedly bombed by two commercial jet airliners (which was a complete lie in my opinion–but, I digress). I wrote about it here if you’d like to read more.
Are we so naive to think that it is coincidence that the number to call in an emergency is 9-1-1 (9+1+1=11)? It seems someone really has an affinity for numbers. This could have been any set of numbers imaginable, but these were specifically and consciously chosen for a reason – and I’m not saying right off that this reason was a sinister one. The number 33 is significant and carries some interesting coinciding similarities with several notiable and historical events. 33 is considered a “Master Number” from a Numerology perspective, as well as are the numbers 11 & 22. Ironically, the number 33 represents the highest level one can reach in the Masonic fraternity; there are 33 vertebrae in the human spinal cord; and 33 was also the age of Jesus Christ at the time of his crucifixion/death (according to the holy bible)…Mastery of the Self. Do you find any of this to be ironic or merely coincidental? There were also ritualistic events that took place at the 2012 Summer Olympics in England, but that isn’t the focus here. You can research that for yourself and find your fill on that. Here is one link I will share on that. These symbols are very often displayed in hidden sight, and during major events at major venues to garner the peak amount of human minds at one time viewing the same event. What better way to reach and send a message to the masses than this?? Without a trained eye to notice these symbols/signs/messages, or at the very least an awareness that they even exists, one can live their entire life totally oblivious to it.
I bring all of this up to point out a more recent ritual that occurred at an event all of you were probably tuned in to this past Sunday – the 2013 Super Bowl. Well, this was Super Bowl 47 (4+7=11), so perhaps it had special meaning. It would take place on the 11th day, or 2/23/2013 (2+3+2+0+1+3=11). Do you recall the power outage that lasted exactly 33 minutes, and the game that resumed at precisely 9:11 PM.
Now, the NFL is one of the richest and most profitable organizations on the planet! And you mean to tell me that they didn’t have the absolute best sound and lighting crews in the world producing this entire event from start to finish?! So why did something like this still occur during the biggest sporting event of the year?? During rehearsals of Beyonce’s halftime show there were reportedly two power surges that took place and a loss of power was experiences. So the experts had more than ample time to fix whatever the power “issue” was. But they didn’t. Were they rehearsing the actual outage? Therefore, I believe this was intentional. It was to send a subliminal message to all of those who still slumber, and let the ones who are awake know that they see You, too. I share all of this to say only one thing — “WAKE TF UP!”
20 BradfordSpoke 13
Here is Part III to the previous article, “Surviving A Painful Break-Up or Divorce – Part II”
7) Re-frame Your Perception of Love - This is ALL about you…every…single…experience. Everything we go through and everyone we meet are nothing more than a detour sign pointing us to our Self. So learning to fully and finally Love you in this process is paramount! When all is said and done, the only person you can truly change is YOU! We can try, try and try again, but we simply cannot change others – not our parents, our siblings, our friends, our spouses/partners, neighbors, not even our children. We can do many things to try and manipulate others to change, but whenever they finally decide to take action to change, it has absolutely nothing to do with us. Though our ego would like to think it did, and that’s perfectly OK. Change truly begins and ends within.
One of the major side effects of our flawed perception of Love, is that we often times, though inadvertently, force others to conceal who they are. Doing can sometimes even nudge them into lying to us. They will lie in order to satisfy what they think we want to hear and/or see in them. If they feel the possibility that judgement might follow a particular decision or action of theirs, they will hide it so as to avoid such judgement. We see this all the time. I firmly believe that people can change, but sustainable change must be initiated by the individual themselves; if not, the change will only be temporary. People must want to change. They must see a deep need for personal transformation. So, can we change our perception of Love to a more accurate one? Of course we can…if we want to. We can do anything! And I know first-hand that it is possible. Because I did it, and so can you!
Re-framing your perception of Love is a huge building block in the healing process. By deciding to redefine Love in your mind, and then meditating on this new thought that there is a better and far less painful way to view Love than you once did, you can cause new, differently programmed neurons to begin forming in your brain. Yes, new scientific findings are showing proof that we have the power to re-wire our entire neuronetwork system and our physiological and genetic make-up by the way we choose to think, practice, and/or perceive a thing…anything! These newly formed brain patterns inherently change the way we cope with similar experiences when and if we encounter it again.
My personal bout with heartbreak and “Love” inspired me to take a much more in-depth look at how I had come to define Love, and what I believed Love to be. In my opinion, the vast majority of our world has a flawed perception of what Love is. Much of my Life Coaching techniques revolve around this aspect of human behavior. We often feel that if someone really Loves us, they will change who they are, the things they desire to do and how they do them, in order to suit us or the situation. This is not Love. I am not saying that there is no compromise in Love, because there is. But this compromise is far less than most of us believe it to be. It can be very frustrating for someone to try so hard to perform certain things in a certain way to meet their partner’s expectations of how they think that thing should be done. The pleaser can be left feeling like a failure because they are unable to do it exactly like they like it, or the way they would have done it. Love simply appreciates the effort put forth by the pleaser, regardless of whether the results are identical to what was hoped for by the pleasee. Loving someone does not mean we are to stay there and take abuse from the one who claims they love us. Many of us base our Love for another upon them meeting certain conditions, but are totally unaware of it. These conditions are unconsciously and secretly hidden. Our lack of awareness is what ruins many relationships. That, is not love; love is not based upon conditions. Ego seeks conditions to build love around; love doesn’t need to be built – it is the building. Example: A man may feel that his female partner does not really Love him and respect their relationship if she decides to keep her other male friends in her life after entering into a relationship with him, after he has perhaps expressed his desire for her to terminate those relationships. Even though these two or three guys have been a part of life for several years prior to meeting him. Again, this is not Love, but an attempt to control. Love is not offended by such, it actually is excited to allow that person to decide what they feel is best for themselves, trusting they will do what is best for the relationship they share together. If something your partner is doing doesn’t feel good to you, the first thing you should ask yourself is “why…why does it bother me so much?” Only you can truthfully answer that question anyway.
Real Love cannot be earned, it can only be given…and only given freely. Love does not have a need to be felt in order to be accepted or validated. The ego is the part of us that feels a sense of “less than” when it doesn’t feel that “Love” is being reciprocated. Real Love only gives, it doesn’t care what is given in return, and it continues loving even if nothing is standing there to greet its smiling face. Real Love is ecstatic with just Being. Real Love knows that it alone is enough, and that nothing else can complete it, for it is already fully complete.
If you can wrap your head around this perception of Love, plant it deep into your psyche, I can almost guarantee you that every single relationship you are involved in – now or ever – will in no way compare to any in your past. Be true to yourself, study yourself, analyze your choices, your feelings around certain circumstances. I am referring to your relationship to everyone and everything, not only romantic relationships. Each relationship will have no choice other than to be more zestful, fulfilling, rewarding, blissful, rich, full of life and zeal. Because you are no longer experiencing your relationships from a constant state of fear and expectation, but you will begin to find complete solace in living your life in a state of giving.
8) Allow Yourself To Love Again - Once you have worked to perfect the Love that you are, now it’s time to take this new way of perceiving Love and put it into practice! What better way to see if it really works than to give it a try? Take your time, and start socializing a little more heavily. Again, be careful not to come across as desperate, but definitely make your openness evident.
There is a mechanism that is built into our physical construct that warns us when a bad or threatening feeling we have felt before is on the horizon – good feelings as well. The negative ones seem to get more of our focus, however, because pain is somehow more memorable than is bliss. Most are not aware that the reason they are attracting the negative is grossly due to the fear they have of attracting the negative. This mechanism is designed to help protect us from any perceived danger, and encourage us to go in a different direction in order to avoid the negative feeling (or pain) again that we have associated with the experience. It is a part of the physical survival instinct that comes pre-packaged with the non-physical Life Force pulsating inside of us. Example: when we place our hand on a hot stove for the first time and are burned as a result, whenever we feel or sense anything that resembles the possibility of that pain again, the brain sends a “lookout” signal to protect the body from potential pain. The very same happens when we are hurt emotionally. We naturally want to protect ourselves from experiencing that hurtful, negative feeling again. But as I mentioned earlier, we have the power to reprogram our minds over time by generating new neuro pathways in our brains that can minimize this fear of being hurt again. The way to do this is to lean into the discomfort that is being anticipated. There is no fear in Love, remember? I would never encourage one to subject themselves to physical harm, but hurt emotions will not kill you. So lean into the discomfort, for this is where the possibilities are; somewhere tucked in between the possibilities of being hurt again, live the possibilities of experiencing Love on a level you never have before. If you never fully open up to these possibilities, it is unlikely that it will ever happen. But you mustn’t squeeze so hard so that Love can’t grow. You must let go in order to let Love in, let it breath, let it live.
Today, I have very little fear of being hurt again, but I do have an extreme case of reluctance to hurting someone else. Knowing that most people will take a decision to move on from a relationship as a personal knock against them, I have chosen to wait until I attract someone who sees Love in much of the same way I do. Even though I have whittled away most of the fear I once held onto so tightly, there are still challenges. Doing this took time, so be patient with yourself during the re-building process. The time it takes to reach this point can can vary greatly for each individual.
9) Get Out There & Play - Deciding to “get out there” again cannot come from a place of “thirst”, neediness, or desperation. People can sense this energy emanating from you, and it can be a very unattractive feature to wear. If you are feeling needy at all, go back into the wood shed and keep chopping away, perfecting your perception of Love. The last thing you want to do is market a massively unfinished product, or market a lie. There will always be updates and modifications to be done, but stepping out as a raw piece of unfinished wood does no one any good, especially you. When you have finally learned to comfortably Love yourself (and you will know when you have), you will receive a confirmation within that you are complete and whole, all by yourself, regardless of anyone else’s opinions of you. You will notice a snug confidence (not an arrogance) in knowing that the only reason you seek out a partnership is to bring another whole to your now wholeness, and not another half to your half to complete you. You must be complete all by yourself.
Find encouragement in the fact that there are literally billions of possibilites out there for you to choose from in terms of potential partners. This thought should enable your patience to set in really strong. There is an entire world out there, with so many people who are willing to move, even relocate across seas in the name of Love! The Internet and modern aeronautics have mushed our world so much closer together, so much so that someone could be in Asia today, and then laying across your sofa within the next 24 hours. We have a greater understanding of foreign cultures and lifestyles than any other time in recorded history. We are truly a global society. I have met some wonderfully amazing women from all over the world via the power of the Internet. There is absolutely no shortage of interesting and incredible people on our planet from which to select. The pool of candidates is literally endless!
Honestly, this is a part of the process that I am still working through. I know what it takes to get out there, but I just have not made a conscious decision yet if I really want to. There are days (even weeks) that I do, and other times that I just don’t care to. So I have chosen to date casually for the moment, just for feminine companionship. But in each encounter I remain completely open to the possibility of experiencing Love in the form of a romantic relationship. If you feel you are ready, then by all means take the leap! Good Luck!
LOVE,
20 bradfordspoke 12
Here is Part II of the previous post…
Tip #3 is critical, for yourself and for others. Injoy!
3) No New Relationships; You Are Toxic! - And I mean this! I recall my therapist at that time calling me “toxic” during one of our sessions. She vehemently instructed me to stay out of any kind of serious relationship for the time being. I recall a feeling of denial welling up inside of me as those words spilled from her lips and into my ears. My ego was highly offended with being labeled as “toxic”; it repelled the notion immediately. My ego spoke loudly in my head, saying, “she doesn’t know what she is talking about, I am in complete control of my emotions, and I will know when I am ready.” My ex-wife and I had been (emotionally) separated for several months at that time, so in my mind I was totally ready – NOT! I was far from ready. I was longing deeply for the closeness, connectedness, and companionship of someone – I was searching for a better-feeling place than where I was. She had provided this to me for years, and her not being there for me left me feeling sad, empty, alone. I felt abandoned, but I would ultimately come to understand and accept that she did not abandon me at all, she only found herself. And sometimes finding yourself requires a clearing out of your space, which can sometimes include relationships/people, things, even marriages.
We’ve all heard of the term “rebound” relationships before. I never believed much in the concept until I experienced it personally. When our romanticized version of love knocks us down and there is seemingly no way to get up, we tend to lean on something or someone outside of ourselves to help prop us up. We don’t feel we are strong enough on our own, so we seek strength externally. This can drain the energy from the good relationships we may have in tact. This is also why it is so common for prisoners to attach to religion or ‘GOD’, even certain relationships (on the inside and outside) while incarcerated; they develop these pseudo relationships with “GOD” while on the inside, but not long after they are free, they return right back to the life they were living before being incarcerated. It is because what they found wasn’t real, unsustainable. This strength you seek doesn’t reside outside of you; it is inside and just waiting for you to access it.
Guilty as charged: I allowed myself to become involved in a few of these “rebound relationships” before I realized what I was doing, and that I was actually loaded with toxicity. I wasn’t only hurting myself and others, I was also delaying my own healing. I attempted to give my heart (that I felt had been thrown away) to a really wonderful woman, but after failing and hurting her in the process by pulling away in fear, I finally slowed down enough to pay closer attention to the relationships I became involved in, and how I would become involved in them. The feeling of being wanted and needed by someone again was overwhelming, and it caused me to do things I would not have normally considered. In this toxic state, our minds are driven in many different directions. It can be very difficult to logically sort through things as we normally do. This causes chaos.
In order to avoid getting involved with anyone at any serious level, I began to seek out relationships with women who perhaps had also been hurt and were in a similar place mentally and emotionally as myself; women who only wanted closeness and intimacy, but without the commitment or expectations of a serious relationship. So I went online and began searching for various dating sites that connected people who were looking for the same thing as I was – emotionally unattached relationships. I was shocked to find so many resources that could temporarily fill this perceived need that I had. I choose to refer to it as a “perceived need”, because as time passed on I would discover that I didn’t need it at all- at least not in the sense of needing that most of us think in terms of. There were so many wounded individuals out there who were looking for love in all the wrong places, just the same as I was. So try really hard to avoid relationships of any kind, and just focus on YOU instead.
4) Discover New Interests - We tend to lose a part of ourselves when we merge our lives with another in serious relationships, especially marriages. The word “marriage” carries a certain energy with it. It carries a fairytale and fantasized ideal of what love is. It brings with it expectation that can be very difficult for any human to live up to, and by not being able to do so we open up the door for disappointment on both sides of the fence. What’s worse is that most of us enter into these relationships before understanding who we are to begin with, and when the break-up occurs, we try to return to the person we were before entering the relationship – but that wasn’t who we were in the first place either. Now there are at least two layers (possibly more) that need to be peeled away before discovering who-we-really-are at our core.
Being single again can present us with amazing opportunities to reconnect (or connect with for the first time) our true, authentic self. I strongly recommend that during this down time with yourself, you find new things to become involved in. For instance, I became more involved in community volunteering; I budgeted a small sum of money each month to take a roadtrip somewhere – mostly day trips and in natural settings. Sometimes I would travel alone, and other times with a friend or two. Becoming more connected to nature is also incredibly therapeutic. After all, nature is a mirror of ourselves. Do something creative. I began writing and singing again, something that I really love and hadn’t done in years; I began to learn Spanish at a higher level- still working on this one. Thanks to a great friend of mine who had moved to Dubai, I was able to take my first real (non-cruise) trip abroad. Work on home improvement projects, get involved in recreational sports, work with the youth. Search for new things that interest you. Step outside of your comfort zone. If you are not much of a social person, push yourself to become more social. Make new acquaintances and friends. These new relationships can come to be very beneficial as you maneuver toward finding yourself.
5) Express Yourself Creatively - This is something that is necessary in general, whether going through a tough time or not, but even more so when we are experiencing pain. Therapists and counselors often encourage their clients to write, or draw, knit, or find some sort of creative outlet. We are all expressions of consciousness, and everything else around us is also. We all have a highly creative essence within us, though many of us have not tapped into it yet for various reasons. We come from the origin of Creation, so therefore there is a need for us to express this, for expression causes expansion of the very consciousness that we are. When we resist expression, we limit our expansion. If you are angry, find constructive ways to express the anger; if you are sad, let the tears roll freely; if you are feeling depressed, lay in bed an extra 15-20 minutes some days; if you just want to scream at the top of your lungs, climb the nearest rooftop, hill, or mountain and do just that! If you want to just sit up and bitch, moan and complain to someone about it, find a bar on the other side of town and bend a complete stranger’s ear for an hour. I guarantee you that The Law of Attraction will lead you to just the right people and provide just what you need in every moment. The key here is not to ignore or suppress whatever it is you are feeling; find a way to express it openly and freely. But there will come a time to begin detaching. And you will know when that time arrives…if you are listening.
Namaste,
20 bradfordspoke 12
I never anticipated this post to be so lengthy, but as I began to write, so much more began to flow from me. So instead of trying to limit was I was being ‘given’, I decided to break it up into a few consecutive pieces. You know how we are these days…most of our attention spans will only allow us to read for a good 15-20 minutes. We scan and then move onto something else quickly. But if you are, or you know of someone who could benefit from the tips offered here, please share the link. The purpose of is to provide healing and Light for all. – Bradford Speaks
I am what some might call a two-time loser. No, no, I’m not in trouble with the law or anything like that; that’s never been a problem of mine. But I do have a record, however…I am 0-2 so far in the game of marriage, as earlier this year I finalised the paperwork to end my second set of vows with the woman I truly thought was “the one”. A lot of us are just as familiar with this feeling of losing, as we are with the feelings of finally owning up to the fact that the feelings of Love and adoration we once held
for another, begins to dissolve. Many of us are quite accustomed to what it feels like when those butterflies that once fluttered with life deep within our Beings, begin to slowly dissipate. At first only a few die, so the feeling isn’t always immediately noticeable. As more of them begin to die off, though, the fear of what is undeniably happening begins to awaken us. We find ourselves perhaps laying in bed one night, trying to figure out where we have misplaced that feeling we once had and believe was so true. We did it suddenly run off to? We don’t want to believe that it is happening…not AGAIN! So we will do everything in our power to make that feeling of loss go away; and the most common way of doing so is through denial. We simply ignore it, or tell ourselves it’s only a “rough patch”, a temporary state of the relationship that will eventually cease and things will eventually return to normal. And sometimes this is true, but more times than not it isn’t. We are shockingly disappointed when the feeling does not return after weeks, months, even years, have gone by. We wake only to find ourselves trapped in a relationship that was once so full of zest and vitality, now completely devoid of life.
Twice now I have added to the 50 plus percent of failed marriages in the good old U.S. of A, a country (in my opinion) that fails miserably at providing the type of support and social structure needed for families to remain in tact today. But when you decide to file for a divorce, resources and attorneys at readily at your disposal. The opportunities are so But that’s another post for another day. I am not proud of being a part of these dismal statistics by any means. But do I consider myself to be a loser in general, though? Certainly not. And neither should you if you’ve been there before, or are currently facing the possibility of a divorce. However, these two experiences surely caused me to slow down and question many things about myself, including my ability to successfully sustain a long-term monogamous relationship. After all, the common denominator in both marriages was ME – that’s how we tend to analyze these things when we seek introspectively. For the first time, I began to look at me as the problem, and no one else. Let me clarify quickly. When I say “successfully”, I am speaking of sustaining a relationship that is in a blissful state on a consistent basis. This is how I have come to partially define “success” in a relationship. And I do believe this constant bliss is possible. What I am not certain of, though, is how long a couple can reasonably maintain such bliss. Sure, we all know a couple or two (on Earth – hehe) who have been together for what seems like forever and a day, but often have stayed together for the wrong reasons; or at least what those on the outside looking in perceive to be the wrong reasons. To top it all off, behind closed doors many of these couples have suppressed the fact that they secretly don’t even like each other anymore. Note that I didn’t say love each other anymore, I purposely said “like” instead. And sometimes that is just what it boils down to.
By the end of my second marriage, I had concluded that my ex-wife simply did not like me anymore…as a person. My very presence disgusted her, it seemed. The word “disgust” is a very strong word. But honestly, that is exactly what it felt like to me at that time. This was extremely tough for me to swallow because she had previously shown such great adoration for the man and person that I was; she was my biggest fan. I have spoken to others who have also experienced a similar shift in their partners’ dealings with them. I have learned along my journey that when we carry a strong feeling of disdain toward another, it is a good indicator that we should find the nearest mirror and peer into it deeply. We are all reflections of each other, and we attract people and situations into our experience based upon what we see in them. This is not a conscious seeing that I am speaking of. So the things she appeared to be disgusted with about me, were likely qualities she was seeing inside of herself. She had to push me away so that she could deal with this for herself, without my interference of wondering ‘why she didn’t love me anymore’. This put a lot of pressure on someone, to exert the energy need to prop you up while also trying to search for themselves within the web you’ve created together. This woman who had admired me so much years before, and held me up on this pedestal so high, had dropped me smack down to earth on my head. Talk about a shattered ego! How did I lose such high status in her eyes? Maybe she finally realized that I was actually human, that I wasn’t this perfect picture of a man that she had previously hoped for and imagined in her mind? Perhaps some things that I did (or failed to do) disappointed her to such a degree that it brought about a resentment toward me? I have since determined that none of this was true. Our time had just run its course. She was no longer able to hide who she was and what she truly felt. I was still the wonderful man she fell in love with and chose to make her husband. And I cannot know this for certain, but I believe that she knew really felt the same about me, but not the same about how she felt about being in a marriage with me. She felt that she was holding me hostage in a sense. Just because someone chooses not to be in a relationship with you anymore doesn’t make you an less wonderful. She probably felt guilty for holding onto me when she no longer felt the kind of romantic love for a man she was married to. So in order to open the door for me to find that again in someone else, she had to let me go. But she actually opened the door for me to find the love of myself that had been missing.
At the tender age 42, I still consider myself a young man in the prime of his life. Not in a cocky way at all, but I consider myself to be a good catch; a better catch than before, actually. I am much wiser now, and more refined about what I desire in a partner. My world view is much clearer, and my perception of Love is much broader and all-encompassing. But…I know now for certain that there are no guarantees in any relationships, and I have accepted this. I recommend you should as well.
So, what happened? What went wrong? Could it all have been avoided? Was it poor choosing of partners on my behalf? Was it poor relationship management by both of us? Did we “grow apart”? Did we marry and have kids too young and/or too soon? Did we have too many kids? Did they change, did I change, did we both change? Did I not give either of them what they needed? Was I emotionally inept to handle such a major commitment? Was I not done “playing the field”? These and many other questions have entered my mind during my Self discovery process, of course, and I’m sure that anyone who has gone through divorce or any semblance of a serious break-up, has explored a similar line of questioning. Should I have done some things differently? Maybe. Could I have done some things differently? Most definitely. Would either have changed the outcome? Who the hell knows!? It is important to ask questions such as these, and to analyze the experience at a very deep level. But not so much in an effort to ensure that our next relationship will not end up the same way, but more so to gain a greater innerstanding about ourselves, for ourselves; not for anyone else or for any future relationship. Remember that your journey is about you and no one else but you! Yes, you will without a doubt accompany others in finding themselves, but always remember that your journey to You is paramount. It is very easy to lose sight of this when we bring others into the mix.
Ok, here is how I survived, and how YOU will, too:
1) Time - While I don’t necessarily agree that time heals all wounds, as many would lead us to believe, I do believe that time is one of the most important components of making great progress toward healing from a painful divorce/break-up. But allowing time to do its job of assisting with the healing is dependent upon the individual(s). The importance is in how you use the time. In this article, I will share a few of the best ways to do so.
The hands on my watch were simply not ticking fast enough. There seemed to be additional hours hiding in between the twenty four we already know about. Finding my healing place was like a kid trying to go to sleep on Christmas Eve, so that the highly anticipated morning under the tree would come sooner. It just could arrive fast enough! I knew that my healing was somewhere ahead of me, but my vision was so blurry from the perceived bludgeoning of my life that it was not foreseeable to me. In the beginning, there were so many days I just did not think I would survive. I couldn’t see how I would ever be OK again. I couldn’t see how I would ever love again, give my heart that way again. As each day slowly came to an end, I didn’t feel as if I was getting any closer to the healing I was hoping to find. For months on end I felt like I was stuck in the same place, unable to shift gears. I cannot pinpoint exactly when the turn toward healing began, but as more months began to appear in my rear view and I continued to only look forward, I could finally see my progress happening before my eyes. And even though it was in very little bits at a time, it was progress nonetheless…and for the first time, noticeable. It had been right there the entire time, just waiting for me to take hold of it.
This buffer of “time” that we have been gifted, though illusory, is precious and quite necessary to make the human experience possible, fun, and even beneficial. Time allows for reflection and contemplation; time allows for reconciliation and forgiveness; time creates the pathway for healing to occur. Respect the time you are given after a divorce or break-up. The emotional and legal disconnects are only the beginning of a journey you should really learn to love.
2) Acknowledgement - Some people spend a ton of energy trying to just ignore what has happened, to ignore the pain they are experiencing. This is the absolute wrong approach. If it hurts, acknowledge that it hurts. Acknowledge that the pain does exist and that whatever caused it needs to be dealt with head-on. Let know that you may be down, but you are not out! Denying that the pain is present doesn’t make it go away. It only numbs us for moments at a time while we temporarily find a place in our minds to which to escape. We have to move consciously through the entire process. If we don’t, we will fail to retain the explicit lessons we are supposed to gather. Look at the situation dead in it’s face – this is a face off! Get mad, get pissed…not pissed at the other person, but pissed at yourself for allowing another person to affect you in such a negative way. But be careful not to carry resentment toward them. Instead, show an attitude of gratitude.
There is great strength in letting your opponent know that you see them, and that you realize their having gotten the best of you this time. There is also strength in letting them know that you will take these lessons they’ve handed to you, learn from them, and use them to prepare yourself for the next go ’round. Life isn’t your opponent, however, the but circumstance is. Let it flow through you, and take confidence in knowing there is not a single circumstance that you will be presented with that you cannot successfully manage through and beyond, all the way back to your authentic state of bliss. Just be patient…
3) Patience - Patience is a very critical piece of getting over the trauma that break-ups can cause. The faster I wanted my healing to begin, the slower it appeared to happen. Every day I would awake – virtually poking myself – hoping to feel better than I did the day before, hoping the pain was not still present. I would lie in bed some mornings, and feel around inside of myself to see if what I felt the night before was still there. And for what seemed to be a countless number of days, it was. No matter what I did to try to keep myself occupied, I would always find myself drifting back toward thoughts of trying to understand why this had happened to me.
When going through these situations, it is important to be patient with the process - let the process run its course. Don’t look for the feelings of despair to disappear overnight, because they won’t. You will only disappoint yourself by thinking they will. Give yourself the opportunity to savor every moment, to soak up every single emotion you are experiencing, especially the most uncomfortable ones. Lean into that discomfort because there is where your healing lives. Be patient with yourself - avoid becoming frustrated with yourself because you aren’t moving through it at the same pace you may have through other challenges in your life. This one is different, so coincidentally, the healing process will be also different. There is a concept called the “stages of grief”, and you will feel every single one of them at various points throughout the process. These emotions are: Denial>>Anger>>Depression/Detachment>>Dialogue/Bargaining>>Acceptance. They won’t necessarily occur in any particular order, but they will be felt, and likely multiple times. Patiently await for your healing - trust that it is coming, if it is what you truly desire. Remember: The Universe only knows how to answer “Yes”. So if you are truly asking for healing, healing is what you will find. If you are seeking pity and desire to stay in the darkness in order to get it, then that is what you will find as well. So decide what you really want. No one can lead you to healing more effectively than You can!
I hope you find these initial tips to be helpful in locating your healing. There is more great info to come in Parts II and III, so stay tuned! As always, I am here with you if you or someone else you know would like support.
LOVE,
20 bradfordspoke 12
Those of you who personally know me, are aware that a few years ago I went through a really difficult and dark period in my life, perhaps the darkest to date; even darker than the loss of my father when I was only 25 years old with a newborn daughter, born just seven days before he suffered a fatal heart attack. It took years for me to find peace with the fact that he never got to see my daughter (his granddaughter) before he died. I finally found a place to put that disappointment.
In 2009, I was faced with another life changing dilemma. I was given the fortune (which at the time seemed like the absolute worst misfortune anyone could have) of losing my wife and family in the abyss of a divorce. Up until this point in my life I had never had to withstand a storm of such great magnitude. I am here to tell you that if you are perhaps facing similar circumstances, you have all the strength, and then some, within you to persevere.
As I was moving through all of this, I shared several pieces of that “miserable” time in my life with a few select people, but ironically I shared it with new acquaintances whom would eventually become endeared friends of mine, instead of with my own family or people I had known and communicated with for most of my life. What was that all about? Even my best friend of more than 30 years was not aware of what I was dealing with until after my wife and I had been separated for more than a year. I had led him to believe all was well in paradise, when in fact, there was serious trouble there. When he asked me why I hid it from him for so long, I really didn’t have an answer for him. I have reflected on his question many times since, and I have concluded that at that time I simply was not willing to “take off the mask” and allow people to see what could have been perceived as failure. I had now failed not once, but twice, at successfully maintaining a marriage, and I was sorely ashamed. I mean, here was a guy who was still married to his high school sweetheart, and here I am churning through my second one, with six kids yielded from the two. In my egoic mind, it simply was not a good look; and ego is always concerned with what it is wearing. It is the most vain son-of-a bitch known to man! Even though I knew my friend loved me, I still feared being judged by him in some way, so I concealed it. I have since discovered that it was only my ego that was seeking to protect itself by disallowing my true Self to extract the lessons being shone inside of this perceived tragedy, and that the true Me was not ashamed and had nothing at all to hide. I was buried in the fearful thought of losing the life I had worked so hard to create for my family and for myself because I had allowed that creation to define who I AM. Like many of you, I was afraid of what others might think of or say secretly about me. Most won’t admit this, and that’s fine; we all have our thresholds for suffering. For those who know me and didn’t get a magnified view of any of this as it was happening, please don’t take it personally. I was only acting as most humans do.
My second marriage was the most beautiful disaster I could have experienced. It was the jolt I needed to awaken me to a greater part of myself living within; it was the catalyst and remains the beacon of light that is constantly leading me toward my higher Self. In this article I will share a few of the lessons I learned from my bout with what we label as “heartbreak”. I hope to empower and inspire anyone dealing with this to push through it zestfully, facing every part of it head on. I am not saying getting past heartbreak is easy, but you can stop causing and perpetuating some of your suffering on your own. There is beauty in everything around you…and I want you to focus your energy on recognizing that.
The 7 Lessons of heartbreak:
1. When in a relationship, the life we create is not our own. When we choose to marry or enter into a serious commitment with another human being, be it personal of business, you are in essence forfeiting your right to create as an individual; your reality becomes a co-creation with that person or persons you’re now intimately engaged with. Though I would not have had it any other way, I failed to realise the significance of this at the time I “popped the question”. I probably would have done it anyway, but truly knowing the depth of what I was getting involved in could have made a difference in how well I handled its demise. Perhaps some of the pain could have been mitigated in some way. It’s OK if we choose to go into these relationships, but we should be aware of the co-creative agreement we are entering into not only with each other, but with the Universal laws at large. Everything we experience in our lives is something we are creating from the inside out. Nothing is created without us creating it through our thoughts, feelings, emotions – our hearts in essence. This is why it is so important to consciously link up with people who are on the same vibrational frequency as you are; people that you want to create with. If not, expect that there will be much mis-creation to follow. The tricky part of this is that what we agree to create initially may not remain consistent through the course of the relationship. So what do you do when one person’s vision changes about what they agreed to create with you in the beginning? As you can see, there is some risk here. And it is vital to make sure you are as closely aligned as possible with regards to what you desire to create together.
When my ex and I met, the connection we shared was so strong, so amazing, and unlike any I had ever felt with any woman before her. It was as if we already knew each other; it was obvious that we were kindred spirits. I now know we have shared past lives together, so the connection makes sense. I have learned to recognize this non-physical connection with others, but not necessarily on a romantic level. It is a familiarity that is not easily explained. What the two us wanted together in life aligned so neatly at the time we met. Our bond and our kinship were undeniable! We both agreed we wanted additional kids, and that as long as it felt right between us we would have them if we could financially support them. As it is with most people who enter marriage, there was no doubt that we would be together for the rest of our lives. So what we now share together, which may appear to be fragments of a life we once co-authored as husband and wife/mother and father, is actually a work of art matted against the canvas of our choosing some twelve years ago. So before you enter your next relationship, be cognizant of the fact that the sculpture you co-create may some day be perched high above for both of you to see. So make sure to create something you will both be proud of. We did.
2. Living a lie never produces happiness. Always live your truth. People lie. And we lie for various reasons. I know I lied about who I was. Not in the traditional sense of lying though. Like I didn’t say things I didn’t mean or tell untruths. But I was still in the process of figuring out who I was, so how could I be completely honest? We must be willing to be honest with ourselves, and face our demons alone before bringing someone else in as a co-creator with us. Two main problems we often face here are: 1) we don’t take the time to know our True Self first; and 2) most of us who think we know who we are, only know in part. Particularly as men, we lie because we don’t want to jeopardize our chances of “winning her”, as if she is some sort of prize to be had. So we lay on the bullshit real thick. Women do the same also to land her prince in shining armor. It takes many of us a complete lifetime to find our own truth; some find it on their death beds, others never do. The ego performs its job well in keeping who-we-really-are hidden right in plain sight. Though some years younger than myself, my ex wife far surpassed me in terms of maturity and wisdom. She taught me numerous lessons better than anyone ever had before; most of which she isn’t even aware of. It’s nothing our parents can teach us, our school or Sunday school teachers either, but only life experience itself. Someone else can describe to you an experience they had until they turn blue in the face, but until we experience it personally, it just doesn’t carry the same meaning.
She always strove to live her truth in whatever moment or phase she was in her life. Her ability to live her truth, would ultimately and inadvertently force me into living my own truth. What a wonderful gift she gave to me in this. When she realized that the life she was creating with me was no longer authentic and true to the woman she felt she was, she began to detach from it. No, it wasn’t as easy for me to swallow then, as it is to write about it today. At the time I couldn’t identify with it because I wasn’t willing to be honest with myself and admit that our marriage had been struggling for a while and we had somehow misplaced the magic we had once shared; I was in denial. Sometimes we just gotta leave shit broken; we can’t fix everything. In the end, I could only respect her for setting us both free to pursue our own individual happiness. Sometimes the band-aids and patches we put on things not only cover up the damage, but it conceals the lessons often hidden inside of those wounds.
3. I learned that I didn’t really Love and value myself the way I should have. This was a really tough one for me to face. I had always felt pretty good about myself, according to the achievements I made in my life. I was extremely popular through high school and college, I was a bright student, and always well-liked and respected by my peers. But what did any of that really mean? Who was I? Why did it matter if others liked me, or respected what I did or what I had accomplished? Well it mattered because those were the things that I allowed to create my value and my worth. This is a large reason why we work so hard to accumulate material things, luxuries, even higher degrees of education. None of those things last, so it was like building a house on sand. I realised through this experience that my worth had to be built on something much greater than what my ego yielded me. I needed to build my Self-worth upon a much more solid foundation than that.
So I began a deep dive within myself to discover what it was that made me special, what made me worthy, what made me valuable and deserving of Love. Why didn’t I love myself, and what was it about me to love and be in love with? I would come to discover that nothing I could DO could make me worthy. It is simply the fact that I AM that makes me worthy. I AM a part of something much greater than anything I can imagine in my physical mind; and so are you! When we fully realise this, we see our worthiness in a non-egoic light, from an infinite and eternal perspective. When we realise that we are Love, we can no longer ignore the Love and beauty around and inside of us. The love inside of you is so vast and cannot be contained. Once you know this love, you only desire to give it away, regardless of whether you are receiving anything in return for it.
4. Never allow any one or any thing to define who I AM. This was the lesson I alluded to in the foreword of this article. I mistakenly allowed the concept of “the American Dream” to cloud my conscious thinking and living. I bought fully into the ideal, and would soon learn that what I wanted was no different than what everyone else around me wanted. But they were all failing in contrast to what most consider to be successful. So why on Earth would I want that? I am who I am apart from any of those things, people, or the relationships I create with them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t quite know who you are yet, but do at least know that much. I molded myself into the man I thought my partner wanted me to be, moving farther away from who I was. Trying to please others by changing who we are and not growing/changing at our own pace, is never a good thing. True love accepts the person you are, and it doesn’t seek to change you. True love allows you to see the needed or desired changes and then is patient enough to let those changes manifest in their own time. It doesn’t stop loving you or respecting you when you don’t make the changes others want you to, and in the timing they want you to.
The houses, cars, cash in the bank, investments, kids in private schools. Though all of this was not completely wasteful, the expenses placed a strain on our lives that a simpler life would not have. But worse, I allowed these things to define me instead of realising that I was great, even without them. I hid behind these things, and proudly stuck out my chest, as it was a temporal representation of me as a man, a husband, father, and a provider. I regret none of it, however, for the lessons embedded in the experiences were so, so rich.
5. Respect the power of Love, and the free will that comes along with it. Love is REAL and POWERFUL! When humanity collectively reaches the point in its evolution that it understands the power of Love, our world will never be the same. Going along with the belief that there is a GOD (or a Higher Source) “out there”, and I do believe there is. Since the word GOD is such an overused and misunderstood term, I will use “Source” instead. Source, in all of its infinite everything, never ever, ever interferes with our free will as a creation. You see, when you really Love someone unconditionally, you freely allow them to choose the path they wish to travel. Source doesn’t come down from “heaven” and attempt to impede the paths we have chosen for ourselves. That is what the Universal Laws are in place for, and those, along with our inner Guidance Systems, are what aid us in the navigation of our human experience.
I caused myself more pain than I needed to because I was trying to keep her from exercising her own free will. If Source doesn’t do that to us, who was I to do it to her? I unconsciously judged her for making the decisions she did, and that was very shallow of me. My feelings were selfish and my “Love” for her was based upon how she treated me instead of how I felt about myself. When I finally decided to release her and it, I found myself meandering down the road to finding my own Peace. It was then that I also began to recognise my true capacity for Love, and the vastness thereof. But though I was becoming conscious of this, for many months there still existed an inner struggle with my ego to completely let go. What most of us interpret as Love, gives us a feeling of ownership of the one we are giving that Love to; this is a slave owner’s mentality. Not even your legal court documents or your commitment of vows before your GOD, gives you ownership of another human Being. We are all Free!
6. Cherish every moment in life – good, bad or indifferent. When we fail to give attention to the things that are important to us, or fail to realise what is important to us, we often experience feelings of regret and/or resentment. There are so many great and pleasurable moments in the time I was able to spend with this particular Soul mate of mine. So many jewels sprang forth from our coexistence. But there are probably just as many that I did not cherish the way I should have. Learning this, I now know that when my next romantic Soul mate encounter appears, I will cherish every single moment because it is impossible to re-live any single moment over again; we can only revisit it within the confines of our memory. Sometimes that just isn’t good enough. Each moment is unique, and must be cherished as such. The two of us rarely argued or even disagreed much until we started growing in separate directions. Our good experiences far outweighed our bad or indifferent ones.
Whenever you choose to co-create with another individual, embrace and appreciate all that you give and all of that which is given. Each encounter is to offer a different perspective. She helped me to see so many things in ways that I would not have on my own. This is one of the main reasons we are here as Souls occupying bodies…to interact and with and learn from each other by seeing different aspects of ourselves in others. If we all lived alone on separate planets, who or what would offer the contrast necessary to make what is grey become distinctly black and white? From this contrast, we harvest the growth needed for our Souls’ evolution.
7. Heartbreak is a product of the ego; it is an illusion that doesn’t really exist. Finally, in the midst of this great experience no one could tell me that heartbreak wasn’t a literal, physical ailment that caused physical pain in the heart and chest region of the body. I even wrote about it here. Surely, take time to acknowledge the feelings inside at the moment of impact, but the sustained pain and self-victimisation is purely a choice of the ego. There is not one single person on this planet you cannot live without. With Eight Billion plus (and counting) on this Earth, there is enormous potential for contrasting experiences for each of us. The feeling of heartbreak exists primarily in the mind. It is the feelings of “why am I not good enough” that perpetuate the pain. The memories are what hold us captive, and memories are stored in the mind and project what we feel in our bodies.
I have since learned that I was always good enough, and that I have great value to offer. My ego was hurt and broken. That which is infinite and eternal is not susceptible to feeling pain. The ego feels threatened with thoughts of no longer existing, your True Self knows better. The ego takes things personally, the True Self does not, for it knows the tricks of the mind – this is enlightenment. The only thing that is real is what is eternal, whatever can leave the physical plane with you. This eliminates all the material things we believe reality to be made of. The pain is not reality, no matter how real it feels. But if it didn’t feel real, would you believe it? Lessons are transmitted through our pains, losses, and disappointments; karma is also resolved through our pain and suffering, and so is clearer vision of life, purpose, and of the Self. Suffering is a matter of perception. You are never without Love; it is never absent from you. How can it be, when it is You?
Remember this: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists; herein lies the Peace of GOD.” – ACIM Love is REAL, YOU are LOVE, therefore be encouraged in that nothing is ever a threat to your existence. Not A Thing…
LOVE,
20 bradfordspoke 12
I wasn’t consciously looking for or searching for any of this stuff, it seems it sort of found me! But in retrospect, I can conclude that I must have been ready to receive it, or else it would have passed me by (again), as I’m sure it had in years past. This is why I feel was able to digest a lot of it. What I would come to learn as to what is possible would be very overwhelming. There is an old proverb that says, “When the student is ready, the teacher/master will appear.” I have found this to be very true in my life’s experience; we all can see it if we think about it. How many times has your parent(s) told you not to do/or to do something over and over, and only after you were ready for a shift did you take heed, or become open to hearing what they had been saying before? There comes a time in each person’s life when we long for a deeper understanding of all of “this”, we long to know the meaning of life. No one can truly say or know who’s right and who is wrong, as I believe the only absolute truth is Love, that is it. Everything else is trivial. I’m thinking that for most of us this thirst for something deeper surfaces somewhere around 40 years of age, and I guess I had about reached that point.
What our minds perceive as pain and suffering can often work to accelerate the rate at which we evolve and choose to finally open our eyes, but again, only when we are ready. I have found that this is the reason for anything we perceive as suffering, to force us in the direction of finding our Higher Self. We are all here to have fun, and also to aid each other in this gigantic game of hide and seek of the Self. Our relational experiences with others, as well as our dreams, awaken us to different aspects of ourselves, all for the goal of ultimately finding YOU. By awakening to Who-We-Really-Are, we slowly begin to realise that we were above the suffering and circumstances the entire time, and that the only suffering that ever really occurred was within the realm of our minds.
The only thing I knew I was searching for at this particular time in my life, was peace. I wanted to end all the emotional trauma that felt so real to me. I wanted to once and for all silence the chattering voices inside my head that spoke to me constantly, saying, “you know it is all your fault this is happening to you, right? If you had only done more, loved her better, given her more of your time, done this/done that, none of this would be happening to you.” No! That is not true, I would try to remind myself. I was in the midst of going through what would be the most painful expression of loss in my life, and I simply wanted to stop thinking, reflecting, remembering any of it. I was in hell. Then it happened…
On a mid December night in 2009, a mild chill in the air (my favorite slice of Atlanta’s winters), just as Fall’s recent absence ushers in the mild beginning of winter’s briskness. My wife and I had separated and were living in separate places after 9 years of co-habitation and c0-creating. I was driving back to my Atlanta apartment after returning our kids to her after a weekend with Dad. My kids and I have always had great times hanging out together. I loved so much to see them all together in my small, yet cozy space, hugging and loving on each other. I especially enjoyed watching how the older kids interacted with the younger ones, and the affection they rendered each other. Those moments always made me smile inside; the thoughts of those moments still have the same effect, in fact. It would often cause me to think to myself, ‘we really did something right and good here.’
As I was driving through the Buckhead area of Atlanta, I suddenly remembered that I needed to stop and pick up a few things from the grocery store for the upcoming week. It must have been around 10:30 pm. Nothing I needed was real urgent, but strolling through the grocery store late night had become therapeutic for me; it gave me the chance to do something mindless, and again, to stop thinking! As I finished my shopping and got into the line to check out, there was this older black gentleman a couple of customers ahead of me. I estimate his age to be early sixties. I overheard him talking to the cashier, who was of Indian (from India) decent about the work he does with filming and producing documentaries. He was speaking about an upcoming shoot he was going to Africa to get footage for. He mentioned things like, “melanin skinned people were the original people of this planet; melanin is the dark, intelligent matter that the entire universe is comprised of; that we were queens and pharaohs before the “white man” came over from Europe and robbed Africa blind and forced his religion and Christian beliefs upon and took them into slavery”. Of course I already knew that Africans were Pharaohs in Egypt, but this isn’t something that you find in a school history book, and I had never heard anyone speak so matter-of-fact about it before. Though I had heard pieces of some of this before, for some reason on this night what he was saying really captured my attention. As the gentleman was walking off, I shouted out to him to please wait for me, as I wanted to hear more about his work. He kindly waited for me, and we would end up talking for the next two hours, from the store lobby and then out into the parking lot near my vehicle.
The things he would share with me on this December evening were extremely foreign to me, and unlike anything I had ever heard before! With good reason, I toggled back and forth on whether this man was some insane, homeless person wandering the streets of Atlanta alone. He said he lived nearby, and he was pushing the grocery buggy home. I fought with myself not to judge him, as I probably would have previously. He spoke to me about this Illuminati thing and royal bloodlines; reptilian creatures that came to this planet thousands of years ago to help mine for gold for their planet, and that some still live inside the Earth. C’mon, maaaan! Really? When I asked how it is possible when the earth is solid and extremely hot with molten lava at the core, he replied that there are parts of the planet that are hollowed out, with entire civilisations living inside there. As you can imagine, in my mind I was rolling my eyes at him in disbelief. But I still couldn’t help but to listen and be drawn in by the outlandishness of it all. Surprisingly enough to myself, I didn’t totally reject the idea, and I wasn’t in total disbelief either. I was floored that I could have possibly lived all this time and had never heard of any of this stuff before. It awoke me to all the things that I just might not know. Not that I thought I knew everything, but surely something like this would be televised on the news, right?! How was this possible, I thought. I mean, it’s kind of a BIG DEAL! So he gave me his YouTube channel information and his phone number. He told me to check it out and call him if I had any questions. As soon as I got home I raced to my laptop to see what he was talking about in his videos. I watched a couple of them, and though his production was somewhat bizarre, the content was intriguing enough to hold my attention. What was even more interesting was the fact that as I was watching his documentaries, there were tons of other similar ones being recommended to me in YouTube’s side bar. So I dove in, and would sit there clicking for the next four hours until 4 am the next morning. I simply could not get enough! I could not believe what I was seeing and learning. How could I have been so blind, I thought.
The vibrations that I was obviously projecting out into the Universe’s ocean of Consciousness led me to a young woman’s profile on an online dating website I had subscribed to. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or anything serious, just some mild companionship was all. I was looking to make new friends, considering the possibility that I might soon be single again. She was living in California anyways, which I felt was a very good thing for me in the state of mind that I was in at that time. There was something about what she had written on her profile page that I could closely identify with; I could tell that she was hurting and crying out. So I sent her a message telling her that I thought she was very pretty and that I could totally feel where she was coming from. That was all I said, no flirting or anything. She responded saying, “finally, someone from this country understands something!” From this we began to develop a friendship. As it would turn out, she was a descendent of royalty; she was a descendant of King Baldwin of Jerusalem, and she is also a descendent of the historical Knights Templar, who are most well-known for their military order work for the Roman Catholic church and the Christian crusades, as well as their association with the Holy Grail. The Knights Templar would eventually be accused of heresy by the Pope Clement V and King Philip IV of France, and the majority of them burned alive at the stake. Upon learning of all of the senseless murdering that was spearheaded by the Catholic church, including their support of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini (one of the forefathers of fascism), I began to back away from all organised religion. The idea that everything I had been taught to believe in had been tainted by murderers made me very uneasy about believing anything at all. This would spark the beginning of my search for true spirituality, which is something that can’t really be taught from a book, only ideals expressed. I concluded that, “There is some truth in all religions. But just because a book is ancient, doesn’t make it truth…it simply makes it an ancient book. The real truth is inside of me” -Bradford Speaks
Though she was living in California, she was born and reared in Italy. She is highly intelligent and more educated than anyone I have ever known. She has earned somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen degrees, in areas such as: ancient history, art history, archeology, religion, and theology. She is very well-traveled, and speaks nine different languages fluently. She is also one of the most gifted artists I have ever encountered to date, having mastered the crafts or oil painting, graphite pencil, free-hand drawing/sketching, clay sculpting, photography, and graphic design. She would become the catalyst for moving me along the path of discovering and my True Self and achieving the level of enlightenment that I have; I give her much credit. But again…I was ready.
This precious woman was very patient with me. She had a grasp on ancient history that I had never witnessed with anyone else before, but not only because of her formal education, but also because many of the secrets of the history of our world have been passed down through her family’s bloodline. She explained to me that this is how things were kept from the masses in ancient societies, and still are today. One has to be a bloodline affiliate in order to be a partaker of these secrets that are passed down. The bloodline affiliation must be proven through testing, which is why I now believe without a doubt, that royalty (now called Prime Ministers/Presidents, Kings/Queens, etc) on our planet was a ‘formulated bloodline/DNA concoction’ and that all royalty and world leaders are of the same or very closely related bloodlines. It may be 6, 7, 8 generations deep, but it is there. Fact: Did you know that all 44 of the U.S. presidents carried royal bloodline lineage into the Oval Office? 34 of them have been direct descendants of Charlemagne, 8th Century King of the Franks; 19 of them are direct descendants of King Edward III of England. Every single presidential (s)election since 1789, beginning with George Washington on down to Bill Clinton and beyond, has been won by the candidate with the most British and French royal genes. Essentially all 44 presidents share kinship, belonging to the same general ancestral heritage. This discovery is the reason that I no longer participate in the electoral process in the United States. As an additional side note, Barack Obama and Dick Cheney are 8th cousins, as well as G.W. Bush and Obama are distant relatives. The Buddha was also of royal descent and has an arranged marriage to his first cousin. As some of you already know, in many ancient cultures around the world, inbreeding was/is practiced in order to preserve the purity of the bloodlines.
So, this incredible woman would become a great friend to me, and helped to bring me into a most marvelous light, answering so many of the questions that I would develop along my journey. We would spend hours and hours at a time on Skype, then I would spend additional hours researching what we had discussed, for my own personal clarity and validation. I don’t think there is a question that I ever brought up that she wasn’t able to answer when it came to history, religion, symbolism, and how it ALL really works. I have had confirmation of who she is through friends of hers, whose names we are all familiar with. I was caught up in all the hoopla of the Obama craze of 2007-08, so initially I was pissed after finding out that all this political bull crap, and the fact that the Barack Obama propaganda was a complete mind fuck of Americans (excuse the lingo); that the world didn’t operate the way I had been led to believe it did; that things are far more connected on this planet than I ever realised; that a ‘wealthy beyond your imagination’ elite few really run the course of the entire planet, and control the masses through psychological mind control and manipulation tactics; how the international banking cartel was able to swindle away the sovereignty of the American people by forming a private corporation renamed the Federal Reserve Bank (renamed from Central Bank of America to make it appear to the masses as a government agency), and underhandedly took over the creation of money for the American government, thereby taking control of the economy and ‘flow’ of ‘current(cy)’. John F. Kennedy was the last president to take an aggressive stance against the Federal Reserve Bank, and well, we all know what happened to him. This isn’t new apparently, they did the very same thing across many parts of Europe, and simply duplicated it here. You may know some of the family names – Rockefellers, J.P. Morgan, Rothschilds, Warburgs, among others. Sound familiar? I would also come to discover that these families financed the both sides of the World War I & II, and are behind just about every other major war/conflict in our country’s history. They initiate the conflicts to gain strategic positioning on mineral rich continents. This is why they stay with their noses stuck over in the Middle East. Their interest in setting up democracy isn’t about the people there in those countries; the intent is purely self-serving.
I digress. My friend helped me to stay grounded through all of this, to understand just how deep the rabbit hole goes. She helped me to realise that I could get angry, fight and resist it all, find a way to work for good inside of the structure, or just free my own mind and the minds of anyone else who is willing to listen. So I shut my television off and began to shield myself from all of the bullshit the matrix was spewing out at me. I chose to focus on meditation instead, and raising my level of Consciousness through vibrating at a higher frequency. It is a miracle how the Universe will send you exactly what you need, just when you need it. My search would transition from an outward one to an inward one. I began to discover my own truth and drew strength and courage from that. I renounced any organised religion, began to toss any fear I had aside, realising that beneath this costume we call a body, I AM infinite, untouchable, and that I create my own reality via the vibrational communication of my inner Being with the Universe at Large.
A search that started out with an old man sharing with me stories of aliens, UFOs, and conspiracy theories (most of which are not really theories at all when you research all the proof that is available today), birthed within me an insatiable thirst for a deeper understanding of Self, the origins of humanity beyond the past errors of science and Darwinism and what they had us to believe. This hunger would eventually lead to an interest in metaphysics, hidden/sacred knowledge, the power of creation through thought, the workings of the Universe/Universal Laws, Kundalini, Ancient History, the origin of religion(s), true spirituality, the truth of infinite LOVE, and so much more. This process led me to a deeper Love for my Self, and an ability to see my inner glow as I never had before. So, here I AM.
It has been quite a ride thus far, and each day I am anxious for the next adventure to begin.
“Nothing real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the Peace of GOD.” ~A.C.I.M.
Namaste,
20 bradfordspoke 12
