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The Story of My Awakening – Circa 2009

August 22, 2012

I wasn’t consciously looking for or searching for any of this stuff, it seems it sort of found me! But in retrospect, I can conclude that I must have been ready to receive it, or else it would have passed me by (again), as I’m sure it had in years past. This is why I feel I was able to digest a lot of it. What I would come to learn as to what is possible would be very overwhelming. There is an old proverb that says, “When the student is ready, the teacher/master will appear.” I have found this to be very true in my life’s experience; we all can see it if we think about it. How many times have your parent(s) told you not to do/or to do something over and over, and only after you were ready for a shift did you take heed, or become open to hearing what they had been saying before? There comes a time in each person’s life when we long for a deeper understanding of all of “this”, we long to know the meaning of life. No one can truly say or know who’s right and who is wrong, as I believe the only absolute truth is Love, that is it. Everything else is trivial. I’m thinking that for most of us this thirst for something deeper surfaces somewhere around 40 years of age, and I guess I had about reached that point.

What our minds perceive as pain and suffering can often work to accelerate the rate at which we evolve and choose to finally open our eyes, but again, only when we are ready. I have found that this is the reason for anything we perceive as suffering, to force us in the direction of finding our Higher Self. We are all here to have fun, and also to aid each other in this gigantic game of hide and seek of the Self. Our relational experiences with others, as well as our dreams, awaken us to different aspects of ourselves, all for the goal of ultimately finding YOU. By awakening to Who-We-Really-Are, we slowly begin to realise that we were above the suffering and circumstances the entire time, and that the only suffering that ever really occurred was within the realm of our minds.

The only thing I knew I was searching for at this particular time in my life, was peace. I wanted to end all the emotional trauma that felt so real to me. I wanted to once and for all silence the chattering voices inside my head that spoke to me constantly, saying, “you know it is all your fault this is happening to you, right? If you had only done more, loved her better, given her more of your time, done this/done that, none of this would be happening to you.” No! That is not true, I would continually try to remind myself.  I was in the midst of going through what would be the most painful expression of loss in my life, and I simply wanted to stop thinking, reflecting, remembering any of it. I was in hell. Then it happened…

On a mid December night in 2009, a mild chill in the air (my favorite slice of Atlanta’s winters), just as Fall’s recent absence ushers in the mild beginning of winter’s briskness. My wife and I had separated and were living in separate spaces after 9 years of co-habitation and co-creating. I was driving back to my Atlanta apartment after returning our kids to her after a weekend with Dad. My kids and I have always had great times hanging out together, but these times were different because it was just us. I loved so much to see them all together in my small, yet cozy space, hugging and loving on each other; cooking together, watching late night movies with a bucket of popcorn. I especially enjoyed watching how the older kids interacted with the younger ones, and the affection they rendered each other. Those moments always made me smile inside; the thoughts of those moments still have the same emotional effect, in fact. It would often cause me to think to myself – ‘we really did something right and good here.’

As I was driving through the Buckhead area of Atlanta, I suddenly remembered that I needed to stop and pick up a few things from the grocery store for the upcoming week. It must have been around 10:30 pm. Nothing I needed was real urgent, but strolling through the grocery store late night had become therapeutic for me; it gave me the chance to do something mindless, and again, to stop thinking! As I finished my shopping and got into the line to check out, there was this older black gentleman a couple of customers ahead of me. I estimate his age to be early to mid sixties. I overheard him talking to the cashier, who was of Indian (from India) descent about the work he does with filming and producing documentaries. He was speaking about an upcoming project he was going to Africa to get footage for. He mentioned things like, “melanin skinned people were the original people of this planet; melanin is the dark, intelligent matter that the entire universe is comprised of; that we were queens and pharaohs before the ‘white man’ came over from Europe and robbed Africa blind and forced his religion and Christian beliefs upon them and violently took them into slavery”. I already knew that Africans were Pharaohs in Egypt (many don’t even know that Egypt is on the African continent), but this isn’t something that you find in a school history book, and I had never heard anyone speak so matter-of-fact about it before. Though I had heard pieces of some of this before, for some reason on this night what he was saying really captured my attention, and pierced my being. As the gentleman was walking away, I shouted out to him to please wait for me, as I wanted to hear more about his work. He kindly waited for me, and we would end up talking for the next two hours, from the store lobby and then out into the parking lot near my vehicle.

The things he would share with me on this December evening were extremely foreign to me, and unlike anything I had ever heard before! With good reason, I mentally toggled back and forth on whether this man was some insane, virtually homeless person wandering the streets of Atlanta alone. He said he lived nearby, and he was pushing the grocery buggy home. I fought with myself not to judge him, as I probably would have previously. He spoke to me about this Illuminati thing and royal bloodlines; reptilian creatures that came to this planet many thousands of years ago to help mine for gold for repair of their home planet, and that some still live inside the Earth. C’mon, maaaan! Really?? Inside the earth?! When I asked how it is possible when the earth is solid and extremely hot with molten lava at the core, he replied that there are parts of the planet that are hollowed out, with entire civilisations living inside. As you can imagine, in my mind I was rolling my eyes at him in disbelief. But I still couldn’t help but to listen and be drawn in by the outlandishness of it all. Surprisingly enough to myself, I didn’t totally reject the idea, and I wasn’t in total disbelief either. I was floored that I could have possibly lived all this time and had never heard of any of this stuff before. It awoke me to all the things that I just might not know. Not that I thought I knew everything, but surely something like this would be televised or on the news, right?! How was this possible, I thought. I mean, people living inside the Earth is kind of a BIG DEAL! So he gave me his YouTube channel information and his phone number. He told me to check it out and call him if I had any questions. As soon as I got home I raced to my laptop to see what he was talking about in his videos. I watched a couple of them, and though his production was somewhat bizarre, the content was intriguing enough to hold my attention. What was even more interesting was the fact that as I was watching his documentaries, there were tons of other similar ones being recommended to me in YouTube’s side bar. So I dove in, and would sit there clicking for the next four hours until 5 am the next morning. I simply could not get enough! I could not believe what I was seeing and learning. How could I have been so blind, I thought.

The vibrations that I was obviously projecting out into the Universe’s ocean of unlimited Conscious potentiality, eventually led me to a young woman’s profile on an online dating website I had subscribed to. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or anything serious, just some mild companionship was all. I was looking to make new friends, considering the possibility that I might soon be divorced and single again. This particular young woman was living in California anyways, which I felt was a very good thing for me in the state of mind that I was in at that time. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to begin dating again. There was something about what she had written on her profile page that I could closely identify with; I could tell that she was hurting and crying out. So I sent her a message telling her that I thought she was very pretty and that I could totally feel where she was coming from. That was all I said. She responded saying, “finally, someone from this country understands something!” From this we began to develop a friendship. As it would turn out, she was a descendent of royalty; she was a descendant of King Baldwin of Jerusalem, and she is also a descendent of the historical Knights Templar, who are most well-known for their military order work for the Roman Catholic church and the Christian crusades, as well as their association with the Holy Grail. The Knights Templar would eventually be accused of heresy by the Pope Clement V and King Philip IV of France, and the majority of them burned alive at the stake. Upon learning of all of the senseless murdering that was spearheaded by the Catholic church, including their support of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini (one of the forefathers of fascism), I began to back away from all organised religion. The idea that everything I had been taught to believe in had been likely tainted by murderers made me very uneasy about believing anything at all. This would spark the beginning of my search for true spirituality, which is something that can’t really be taught from a book, only ideals and experiences expressed. I concluded that, “There is some truth in all religions. But just because a book is ancient, doesn’t make it truth…it simply makes it an ancient book. The real truth is inside of me” -Bradford Speaks

Though she was living in California, she was born and reared in Italy. She is highly intelligent and more educated than anyone I have ever known. She has earned somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen different degrees and advanced degrees in disciplines such as: ancient history, art history, archeology, religion, and theology. She is very well-traveled, and speaks nine different languages fluently. She is also one of the most gifted artists I have ever encountered to date, having mastered the crafts or oil painting, graphite pencil, free-hand drawing/sketching, clay sculpting, photography, and graphic design. She would become the catalyst for moving me along the path of discovering my True Self and achieving the level of enlightenment that I have; I give her much credit. But again…I was ready.

This precious woman was very patient with me. She had a grasp on ancient history that I had never witnessed with anyone else before, but not only because of her formal education, but also because many of the secrets of the history of our world had been passed down through her family’s bloodline. I’d never even thought about human existence beyond the 6,000 scope the bible teaches, beginning with Adam and Eve. She explained to me that this is how things were kept from the masses in ancient secret societies, and still are today. There has always been an elite group of individuals who have hoarded hidden knowledge. One has to be a bloodline affiliate in order to be a partaker of these secrets that are passed down. The bloodline affiliation must be proven through testing, which is why I now believe without a doubt, that royalty (now called Prime Ministers/Presidents, Kings/Queens, etc) on our planet was a ‘formulated bloodline/DNA concoction’ and that all royalty and most world leaders are of the same or very closely related bloodlines. They at least share the same controlling mindset. It may be 6, 7, 8 generations deep, but it is there. Fact: Did you know that all 44 of the U.S. presidents carried royal bloodline lineage into the Oval Office? 34 of them have been direct descendants of Charlemagne, 8th Century King of the Franks; 19 of them are direct descendants of King Edward III of England. Every single presidential (s)election since 1789, beginning with George Washington on down to Bill Clinton and beyond, has been won by the candidate with the most British and French royal genes. Essentially all 44 presidents share kinship, belonging to the same general ancestral heritage. This discovery is the reason that I no longer participate in the electoral process in the United States. As an additional side note, Barack Obama and Dick Cheney are 8th cousins, as well as G.W. Bush and Obama are distant relatives. The Buddha was also of royal descent and has an arranged marriage to his first cousin. As some of you already know, in many ancient cultures around the world, inbreeding was/is practiced in order to preserve the purity of the bloodlines.

So, this incredible woman would become a great teacher and friend to me, and helped to bring me into a most marvelous Light, answering so many of the questions that I would develop along my journey. We would spend hours and hours at a time on Skype, then I would spend additional hours researching what we had discussed, for my own personal clarity and validation. I don’t think there is a question that I ever brought up that she wasn’t able to answer when it came to history, religion, symbolism, and how it ALL really works. I have had confirmation of who she is through wealthy friends of hers, whose names we are all familiar with.

I was caught up in all the hoopla of the Obama craze of 2007-08, so initially I was pissed after finding out that all this political bull crap, and the fact that the Barack Obama propaganda was a complete mind fuck of Americans (excuse the lingo); that the world didn’t operate the way I had been led to believe it did; that things are far more connected on this planet than I ever realised; that a ‘wealthy beyond our imagination’ elite few really run and dictate the course of the entire planet, and control the masses through psychological mind control and manipulation tactics without them knowing; how the international banking cartel has slowly swindled away sovereignty from the American people through the use of Presidents, Politicians, Congressman, Senators, and by forming a private corporation renamed the Federal Reserve Bank (renamed from Central Bank of America to make it appear to the masses as a government agency), and underhandedly took over the creation of money for the American government, thereby taking control of the economy and ‘flow’ of ‘current(cy)’. John F. Kennedy was the last president to take an aggressive stance against the Federal Reserve Bank, and well, we all know what happened to him. This isn’t new apparently, they did the very same thing across many parts of Europe, and simply duplicated it here. You may know some of the family names – Rockefellers, J.P. Morgan, Rothschilds, Warburgs, among others. Sound familiar? I would also come to discover that these families financed both sides of the World War I & II, and are behind just about every other major war/conflict in our world’s modern history. They initiate the conflicts to gain strategic positioning on mineral rich continents, and to create pretexts for war. This is why they stay with their noses stuck over in the Middle East and Africa, with over 1,000 military bases worldwide to date. Their interest in setting up democracy isn’t about the people there in those countries and helping them to become self sufficient; their intent is purely self-serving.

I digress. My friend helped me to stay grounded through all of this, to understand just how deep the rabbit hole can go. She helped me to realise that I could get angry, fight and resist it all, find a way to work for good inside of the structure, or just free my own mind and the minds of anyone else who is willing to listen. So I shut my television off and sold it, and began to shield myself from all of the bullshit the mainstream matrix was spewing out at me. I chose to focus on meditation instead, and raising my level of Consciousness through vibrating at a higher frequency.

It is a miracle how the Universe will send you exactly what you need, just when you need it – it’s the way of its brilliant intelligent design. My search would transition from an outward one to an inward one. I began to discover my own truth and drew strength and courage from that. I renounced any organised religion, began to toss any fear I had aside, realising that beneath this costume we call a body, I AM infinite, untouchable, and that I create my own reality via the vibrational communication of my inner Being with the Universe at Large (or what some call GOD).

A search that started out with an old man sharing with me stories of aliens, UFOs, and conspiracy theories (most of which are not really theories at all when you research all the proof that is available today to support them), birthed within me an insatiable thirst for a deeper understanding of Self, the origins of humanity beyond the past errors of science and Darwinism and what they had us to believe. The world was brought into existence through thought, and has been autonomously expanding outward ever since. This hunger would eventually lead to an interest in metaphysics, quantum mechanics, hidden/sacred esoteric knowledge, the power of creation through thought, the workings of the Universe/Universal Laws, Kundalini, Ancient History, the origin of religion(s), the spirituality underlying religion, infinite LOVE, and so much more. This process led me to a deeper Love for my Self, and an ability to see my inner glow as I never had before. So, here I AM.

It has been quite a ride thus far, and each day I am anxious for the next adventure to begin.

“Nothing real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the Peace of GOD.” ~A.C.I.M.

Namaste,

20 bradfordspoke 12


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4 Comments
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    • Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, Dedra! I’m glad to know that what I’ve shared in my blog has been an inspiration for you and your volunteer project. Let me know if I can assist in any way. Namaste.

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